12 weeks!!

So I had my 3rd appointment with the doctor and I was extremely anxious when I got up this morning before my appointment. It seems I always have all of these ridiculous thoughts going through my head. I find myself worrying for no reason the day before and of a doctors appointment about the stupidest things like if my baby is still alive, or if the horrible gas pains I got from eating the giant burrito last night could have in fact been something much more serious :-) Now I am not sure if all this worrying before my appointments is normal or if I just have anxiety because of the 2 babies I have lost. I am hoping since I am nearly over the first trimester hurdle these worries will subside. This as you can guess drives my wonderful husband up the wall he was begging the doctor today to tell me that I am no longer allowed to read into all the pregnancy websites I belong to, Chris believes these websites add fuel to the fire, she laughed at him but he was serious. Anyhow let me get back to the appointment, it started out well the doctor found my uterus right above my pelvic bone it is beginning to protrude. After examining me she began to look for the baby's heartbeat using the fetal doppler after what seemed like a thousand tries but was probably only 8 she decided I should have an ultrasound done because she couldn't find it (which as you might imagine scared the living crap out of me). As soon as the ultrasound tech put the magic wand to my belly you could see baby moving around like crazy it looked like it had hiccups, probably from last nights burrito, and it's heart was beating 165 bpm. Now I'd like to think my baby knows how much I love seeing it and is a clever genius like me :-) so every time I go in it is going to be tricky like that so I will have to get an ultrasound! Next appointment is 4 weeks from today, I will be 16 weeks and maybe they can guess the sex, we are hoping for a boy so we can give him my daddy's name sake! This will be the last picture where the whole baby can fit into the ultrasound! I just think it is so amazing that I can love this baby more than anything else in the world and I can't even feel it yet. I guess not much can compare to a mother's love for her child :-)